I’ve lived in NYC for 6 months now and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
Sometimes when I’m walking along the city, I’ll see the trees of Central Park mixed with tall buildings and think that I have so much to see while I’m here. Then I’ll see dog poop smeared all over the sidewalk and think that so many animals and people in such a small amount of space creates a cesspool.
I go back and forth. One day I want to see everything the city has to offer, and the next I want to buy a large house in the middle of nowhere and hide with my dog and boyfriend.
I’ve always been full of contradictions, which makes life pretty “meh”. The problem with wanting two opposing things is that oftentimes while you wait to figure out what you want, you end up getting neither. I think that’s how so many people end up living mediocre lives.
And then when you finally choose, like I did when I moved to NYC, FOMO kicks in. I’m unable to enjoy my time in NYC because I can’t stop thinking about what I gave up when I moved here. I can’t host a dinner and board games night in my tiny apartment. I can’t do too much decorating because I don’t own my little apartment (and never will). And I’m pretty much limited to going where my Metro Card can take me, as owning a car here is pointless and expensive.
So, it’s choose nothing and be mediocre, or choose something and always think about the doors you closed.