I’m Not Fat, It’s Just Winter Weight

Croissant and coffee
I’m paying for all those chocolate croissants now.

I put on a lot of winter weight this year.

For anyone lucky enough to not have winter, let me explain. Winter weight is the weight you put on during the winter from long days spent hiding inside from the snow, overindulging in pastries and hot chocolate. The pastries and hot chocolate are for the endorphin boost. Winter is so depressing that you have to add artificial happiness into your day.

This winter must have been a rough one because I put on a lot of winter weight. Like 20lbs worth.

I have to say that I’m shocked that I gained so much after all that I put myself through this winter. I went carb free for two days and then switched to low-carb for three days. I worked out ten times. Ten times! Why did I spend all that time on the treadmill? Had I of known that running ten times wouldn’t stave off weight gain for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t have done it.

It’s going to be hard to lose my winter weight this year. I may try the diet where I eat on the floor so that my dog eats half of my food while I swat him away (cardio!). Or maybe I’ll do the workout where I Uber to the middle of a bad neighborhood at night and run for my life.

Oh! Maybe I can get rid of some unnecessary organs. How much does a kidney weigh?

 

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