Living a Cyclical Life

Does anyone else ever feel like their life is a continuous loop?

I go through phases constantly.

Giving up social media phase

I think that I give up social media about twice a year. There will come a point where I just fill like I’m screaming into the void on Twitter. Or that I’m taking stupid photos to impress people on Instagram and look like I write more than I really do. Or when I’m tired of seeing everyone doing better than me on Facebook. I’ll pause all my accounts, delete the apps on my phone, and then after a few months move into the next phase.

Using all the social media to promote phase

Having given up social media, I’ll decide that I want to take my writing more seriously. Blog regularly, get followers. But inevitably this means getting my work out there. Having a presence on social media. I curse myself and decide that there’s no way in this day and age that I can get ahead without social media. So I start up all my accounts and try to find a balance between promotions and “fun” updates. Which will lead me back into feeling like I’m screaming into the void and putting on airs.

There are other loops in my life as well. Such as:

  • Treating myself to Home Chef and book subscription boxes
  • Cutting out treats and taking my savings seriously
  • Restriction dieting
  • Eat anything I want cause fuck it dieting

All this does is make me feel like I haven’t learned anything. I oscillate between extremes, never content. If I could just get myself into a middle ground somehow, I’d feel like I was making progress.

But let’s take social media and study that for a minute. How do you find a middle ground on social media? Whenever you talk to someone about self-promotion, they say that consistency is key. You must be updating Twitter 5 times a day, Instagram once a day, Facebook once a week. Whatever it is, it requires really digging in and interacting with people constantly.

Sure, you can set up automatic posting. But it still requires sitting down for a couple hours to write out your posts for the week. And is that really engaging? It’s kind of like someone covering their ears in the middle of a conversation and then yelling nonsense.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is that I’m a crotchety old person and this time in history that I’ve been dropped into isn’t really working for me.

And happy Labor Day, or whatever, because blog posts should have a theme and be timely. *sigh*

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